Diary of Richard Plantagenet: by Scott Wright

June 12, 2018

 

August 27, 1424 - Today in the Temple Garden, Somerset & his friends were mocking me because I'm not a Duke yet...  They're saying I never will be.  If I had half a chance, I'd stab that little piss-ant...  His uncle Beaufort, the Bishop of Winchester (the King's priest) doesn't like me either.  This does not bode well for my chances at court next month...

 

September 30, 1424 - King Henry and his advisors are reviewing my request for re-instatement.  My father's indiscretions during the reign of Henry's father have kept me from my inheritance.  Saying a little prayer and then it's off to court.  The King hands down his decision today...

 

October 1, 1424 - Yes...!  The King not only restored my title to the Dukedom of York, but all the rest of my inheritance!  I'm now not only Richard, 3rd Duke of York (thanks Uncle Aumerle...!) but also the Earl of Cambridge and of Ulster...!  Next time I see Somerset, I'm going to wipe his eye with THAT...!  :)

 

January 19, 1425 - Great-Uncle Mortimer died last night, so I'm now also the Earl of March...  I was there with him at the end, and just before he passed, he told me a secret - he told me that I'm descended from Lionel of Antwerp, the third son of King Edward III...  (Lionel was my mother's Great-Grandfather)  I don't quite know what to think...  Henry's Great-Grandfather was John of Gaunt - King Edward's fourth son...  What the actual f...  I think I just better keep this to myself for now...

 

October 1, 1429 - Today I was married to the beautiful Cecily Nevil.  I've never been so happy.

 

December 12, 1435 - Word arrived from France that the King's uncle John died in France.  He was the King's Regent and has been conducting the war there almost since the beginning.  The King has given the job to me.  Unfortunately he's also given me Somerset as a co-commander.  As if...!  Somerset couldn't fight his way out a ladies' quilting clutch without someone holding his hand...  Maybe he'll hurt himself riding his horse, or get sea-sick and fall overboard.  One can only hope...

 

April, 19, 1438 - The King sent Warwick to take my place in France, so I'm back home for now.  Somerset was doing such a fine job of screwing things up, I'm sure that's why I've been recalled.  Looking forward to making my report.

 

August 10, 1439 - Cecily delivered a beautiful baby  daughter.  I was beginning to wonder, but you know - I've been busy...  Hopefully the next one (or three or four...) will be boys...  :)

 

March 23, 1441 - I'm off again for France.  Cecily's pregnant, so she's coming along.  At least this time Somerset's not coming.  Maybe the King finally realized what a useless turd he is...  Anyway, Warwick & I are going to make quick work of it this time.

 

July  5, 1445 - Four years now here in France, fighting for King Henry.  Every time we make a gain or capture a town, two more somewhere else revolt.  We're chasing all over France and the government back home is doing nothing.  I've had to spend my own money to pay the soldiers here and keep my army together.  The King says he'll pay me back, but no money ever arrives!  I don't know what King Henry or old Duke Humphrey think they are doing, but this situation is starting to get on my nerves.  
Little Edward's four years old now.  George is walking already, and Cecily's pregnant again.  What can I say - maybe it's the French country air...  I got little Edward a toy sword & buckler.  It's really cute seeing him running around "...killing Frogs...!"

 

There's a rumor that the Pope wants us to stop fighting, but I'm not giving up one single province - not one town!  France is OURS damn it, and I am not giving up...!

 

August 1, 1445 - Bishop Winchester arrived yesterday.  Apparently he's been in Rome, sucking up to the Pope, and now King Henry's written that we're to cease hostilities...  Man, these Beauforts are really beginning to chap my backside...!  Can't wait to get back home to England...

 

September 30, 1445 - The Duke of Suffolk (one of Somerset's buddies...) has returned from the treaty negotiations in France with the finalized peace agreement.  King Henry is to marry Margaret of Anjou (without a dowry?) and turn over the Duchies of Maine and Anjou to the French...!  Those aren't just Henry's provinces in France...!  They're mine...! ! !  I'd like to choke the living snot out of Suffolk...!  ...And King Henry rewarded him...!  And it kind of looks like Margaret and Suffolk have already become bosom buddies (if you know what I mean...)  What is WRONG with this King...?!

 

January 18, 1447 - Suffolk, Winchester, and Margaret are trying to convince the King that old Duke Humphrey, the Lord Protector, is dangerous.  They accused him of treason and worse...  They'd already disgraced Humphrey's wife Eleanor by "catching her in the act" of witchcraft and raising demons (I'm pretty convinced it was entrapment...)  I feel like I have to play along with these vipers & scorpions to keep them from turning on me, but if I get a chance, I'll find a way to turn the tables on them...

 

February 1, 1448 - I've been in Ireland quelling a rebellion.  Received news that old Duke Humphrey of Gloucester is dead.  And so is Cardinal Winchester...  Too bad about Gloucester - he was a pretty ok guy.  They say Winchester's death wasn't pretty.  Maybe he was poisoned...  (I'll never tell...)  


I'm on my way back to England with a little "surprise" for Henry...  I worked out a deal with the Irish - had to fight some of them, but then we were able to settle with the rest.  So now, with the army Henry gave me, combined with my subjects from Ulster, and a large number of the Irish who capitulated and are now loyal to me, we're going back to England.  
Merde's about to get real, yo...

 

Please reload

Featured Posts

Special Guest Blog: Inspector Dogberry of the Messina Watch

April 21, 2017

1/10
Please reload

Recent Posts
Please reload

Archive
Please reload

Search By Tags